Dear Spanish Students,
We meet again. Every July for the past couple of decades we’ve hosted your visits. Your parents claim that you are sent over here to learn English. In reality it’s because they’ve realised they’ve created a monster and think you should be shipped overseas.
Every July you seem to get noisier and more ignorant. So much so that our own streetkids are being outdone and being made to feel inadequate. Who do you think you are undermining our indigenous kids in their unique beige Nike sportswear and fabulous mullets? They’re not Incas so stop the oppression!
Can you also please tell us why 13 year old Latinos are going around wearing aviator sunglasses? This is Ireland where the sun hasn’t been experienced since the Great Day of ‘64. Are these kids trying to be some sort of Johnny Knoxville, or should we say, Juanny Knoxvilla? Because that was 2001, amigos.
We see you’ve also inspired Italian kids to come over here too. We’re as open-minded as the next people but do we really need another bunch of loud-mouthed self-obsessed prima donnas? Why couldn’t you inspire a different race to come over here to learn English instead? Like the Scandanivans. Or the Welsh.
In this age of the internets and information superautobahns I don’t think there’s any requirement for your summer visits any more. Babelfish will teach you English. Failing that, you can always pick it up from the Police Academy movies.
Signed,
The People of Dublin
