Dear Northern Ireland,
Cheer the f*ck up. There’s more to life than shootings, beatings, arson attacks, funerals. etc. I know death is a way of life with you due to the “Troubles” but it’s time to move on. When unemployment is the “And finally…” cheerful piece at the end of the TV news you know it’s time for a shake up. This is where we need a United States of Europe just to drown you people out into obscurity.
You have 48 hours.
Regards,
A Northern Irish exile (of sorts)
